thatsmoderatelyraven: sandwich stacker was the best game ever omfg
History Teacher: World War ll had more casualties than any other war in history.
Me: Excuse me?
Me: What about the TIME WAR?
Me: A war that wiped out the most noble species in the universe!
Me: And you call yourself a history teacher
So I’m still not allowed to order my own meals at PHP so my brekky this morning was a cinnamon roll, banana, and PB. For a second I didn’t register the banana and I was sincerely confused as to why they gave me peanut butter with my cinnamon roll And then I realized
There's going to come a day when we've all grown...
gayerthanjew: like seriously bodies are so crazy like if you want to move your leg you just move it that’s it you don’t even think like ‘leg i command you to move’ it just gOES
so excited for summerrrrr (:
lolsofunny: alreadyy got my bathingg suit ! work it Me
hyacin-th: no i don’t wear glasses because i think they’re cute i wear glasses because im fucking blind
Doctor: Are you sexually active?
Me: HAHA THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
Me: OH MY GOD WHAT IS AIR
Me: JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL OH MY GOD
Me: Whooooooo, that was a good one.
Me: No, no I am not.
Wow guys I think my stomach is going to rupture.
If I’m not back after dinner, that’s what happened.
hhawkeye: when you find out an actor you think is cute is around 32 and you’re like “wow he’s really young” that’s when you know you have a problem
saddeer: no one hates me more than I hate me but people sure are making an effort
Fan: my creys. my feels. hold me.
Translation: The emotional impact of this episode/line/character is almost beyond my capacity to hold in my feelings. I could really use the support of my fellow fans.
Fan: how does your face even work you DICKFACE JUST TAKE MY OVARIES YOU ASSWIPE ugh i will never be able to reproduce
Translation: I find this person to be very attractive and am oft left stunned by his/her seemingly flawless physical appearance.
Fan: i cannot. i am unable to can.
Translation: I am deeply in awe of this art/fanfiction/person/etc. It feels as though I've temporarily lost the ability to function.
Fan: omg omG I HATE YOU F--K YOU UGGGH GO DIE
Translation: I love you. Every fiber of my being burns with a passion hotter than one thousand white-hot suns. I may or may not have a chewed-gum shrine of you in my closet.
nowshutupandeatyourpears: i hate it when you want to show a friend something you think is funny and you’re crying and on the floor from laughing and they just sit there
Steve: Mr. Stark.
Tony: Mrs. Stark.